Risky

So, there is a video that we four losers have all seen.
AND it has a swear in it.
So we weren't going to post it.
But we did anyway.
We just put a Rated R banner up to make ourselves feel better.
Here it is.
We hope you enjoy.

Click here

We NEED Rage Against the Machine

We need bands like RATM especially in this day and age. Check out the content of this video.

Click here

DSW

Dr Cox Singing

If you have never watched Scrubs, then you may not enjoy this to its full potential...and thats a shame. Also, the mouth/singing isn't entirely lined up i don't think. bumma foo.

Tough Guys

Since the new Blogger sign in uses my email as the login name I can no longer post videos via youtube.com. Youtube's Blogger/Sign in cannot fit my entire email address and therefore will not upload videos to our humble site. So with all frustration and many an f-word here is the link to the video you should watch.

Click here

This one is for the world's four toughest men.

DSW

Greatest Day of My Life

Rage Against the Machine to reunite for one show.

Click Here for details.

P.S. Go ahead and cry because you can't afford to go.

DSW.

Quote of the Day - 100th Post!!!!!!!

"Sometimes i wonder why we call it Christianity instead of Paulinity because we tend to focus so much on letters Paul wrote to a bunch of dysfunctional churches instead of the gospels"
-Rev. Ray Aldred (from my retreat!)

p.s. the pictures arent working for me. bummer b/c i had a good one of paul.

Official Movie Review: An Inconvenient Truth

So it's really nice that we don't get winter anymore until January (remember when you were a kid and it came way earlier... like freezing your butt off in your power rangers costume on Halloween night)... but it's not really nice that we're clearly destroying our world and ourselves (this documentary doesn't even bother to go into the health effects upon humanity concerning air pollution... a possible sequel perhaps).

Basically after this movie you'll feel really bad and take public transit a lot more. You'll also want to plant trees.

In conclusion, if we do nothing to stop global warming... 50 years from now you'll wish that you lived on higher ground- cuz your crib gonna be swizzimmin' unda wada yo!!!

1. Go watch this movie.
2. Make this a political issue by raising awareness.
3. Ignore dumb people who ignore the fact of global warming (go read some of the youtube comments people make about this trailer... its unreal how dumb humanity can be).

New Link: Bad Santa

I've added a new link entitled Bad Santa. (Yeah Yeah, I know it's not Christmas anymore.... shut up). These are really funny pics of kids who are terrified of the man in red 'n white. Check it out and have a few laughs.

Click Here or check out the link in the bar on the right.

Letters to the Editor - Issue 1

Dear Jash,
I went on a retreat this weekend with the christian group at my university. I had a great time. I played this game called squamish and met so many cool people. There was also this one guy named Stuart who said something about Winnie the Pooh being based on a world war. I didn't get it and he wouldn't explain it when i begged him too. I was wondering if you could explain for me.
Your Most Faithful Reader,
J-Unit.

Dear J-Unit,
Your name rocks. What it short for? Just a lucky guess.....josh? yeah, thought so. Anyways, I'm glad you had fun on your retreat. I'm sure with a nickname like J-Unit, you met lots of ladies. About the question, that guy named Stuart, well, um, he's partially correct. Let me explain it to you. Winnie the Pooh was originally based on World War I, but since I know World War II better, I'm going to explain it using that war.

Winnie the Pooh = England. They're the leader, but they're also a little slow.
Tigger = United States. They jump at every opportunity to show off.
Piglet = Netherlands. When the Nazis invade, "Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dearie me!"
Eeyore = Canada. In a depressed voice, "Oh well, thanks for noticing me"
Rabbit = Russia. Complain Complain. "Where's the help"
Kanga = Australia. Duh.
Roo = New Zealand. The baby Australia.
Woozles, Wizzles, and Heffalumps = Italy, Japan, and Germany.
Owl = Nobody. Theres just no country that smart. If there was an owl, there wouldn't have been a war. He's completely fictional.

There you go J-Unit. I hope that helps, but I'm going to be honest with you, you can pretty much apply characters to anything. Try applying Hockey Teams to the U.S. Civil War. I bet it surprises you.
Peace,
Josh

Quote of the Day

"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather

because it's easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs."

Official Movie Review: The Pursuit of Happyness

This movie surprised me a lot and I'm actually a little upset that I didn't see it in the theatre (I watched it for free online). Not only was the movie actually worth the $10.95 for the bigscreen, it would have done all of the stunts and action scenes a lot more justice.

The movie starts off with a man and his son who are really poor. The dad (The Fresh Prince) needs to find a way to make money so that he and his son don't become homeless. Before you know it these alien robots (kind of like Transformers) swoop onto Earth from outer space. The dad quickly then becomes the hero as he finds a way to kill the robot aliens with Rubik's Cubes. The dad sells this inside information to the government and he and his son soon become millionaires.

Sadly, they soon piss away all of their fortune on malt liquor and chronic. They are then forced to sell their Impala (which is sittin on 20's) to avoid being homeless again.

Overall, the acting was really good and the plot was believable. I give The Pursuit of Happyness 3.5 out of 5 Optimus Primes!

i heart movies.

Here's a site for anyone who loves movies, tv shows, and even music vids. Without downloading and completely 100% free of charge, you can watch any movie you'd like. It's pretty frigging amazing. Thanks to Allison Smith and Kevin Huynh for helping me discover this wonderful place. I'm off to watch the Prestige. A little butterfly told me it was good.

I almost forgot to stick the link to the site in here. Click here for the site.

Eliminating Discrimination

In the late 1990's and early 2000's opposing efforts to legalize or ban same-sex civil marriage made it a topic of debate all over the world. In 2001, the Netherlands was the first country to allow same-sex marriage. At present, same-sex marriages are also recognised in Belgium, Canada, South Africa, and Spain.

As the quest for tolerance and the fight against discrimination moves on I have made it my personal mission to join the fight.

As a society that is serious about discrimination, we hereby demand that Major league baseball do away with the following:

1. The double-play: This is clearly discrimination against slow runners.

2. The Curve Ball: Obviously unfair to those who are batting.

3. The Home Run: Players are under so much pressure that they have no choice but to inject eachother in the bum bums with needles full of steroids. The results are small brains and tiny penises.

4. Stealing bases: Clearly religious discrimination against those whose religious practices disallow such conduct. Ex. Thou shalt not steal (The Bible).

5. The Strike Out: Cleary discriminates against those who need another chance. Criminal's are even given a chance at parole, while those who play baseball are forced to take a "walk of shame" back to the dugout where they will be ignored and ostracized for their failure. This will ultimately end in low self esteem which leads to depression and then suicide.

Please sign the petition below and join the fight for tolerance and end discrimination against the most vulnerable of our society.

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/mlbdiscrimination

Brand New Disco

In honour of the tiks that I have just ordered to the Toronto show,
Ive decided to post the Brand New discography. Expect a full review after the show by

the writing writer, jash, and jonas.

Download: Your Favourite Weapon, Deja Entendu ,

The Devil & God are Raging Inside Me

Muzak for the Masses: Repost

By request, I've uploaded Turn Off The Stars again. Sounds a lot like Coldplay... you know, that band that writes songs about stuff.

Download: http://www.f-forge.com/?d=cUjWmJOR6vNuz8DMxfZ0

Spiders On Drugs

starts slow....keep watching tho.

Still Bored?

Try this game. Its my favourite when I have nothing else to do. My personal best is 23 seconds.

http://www.bored.com/blockfrenzy/index.html

Official Movie Review: A Night at the Museum

Maybe it was because I had absolutely no expectations when going to this movie, but I actually liked it. Wierd. The first 3 scenes of the movie sucked and before I knew it I was preparing myself for a typical 100 minutes of hell stuck in a movie theatre. Yet the movie turned around quite quickly and I soon found myself entertained by the simple script and predictable plot. It's hard to identify why, when I sit and think about it, but I was entertained and I'd actually spend the time ripping and burning the DVD to watch again someday. I give this movie 3.5 out of 5 Ghengis Khan's.

Bored?

Pass away the pointless hours with our list of things to do when you're bored.

THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
See a variety of blobs, stars and flashes. Try to make out shapes and see if your subconscious is trying to send you a message.

See how long you can hold a note
(Amusement Potential: 4-20 minutes)
Not that much fun, but it sure passes the time. Play with a friend, or try to beat your own personal best. Inhale deeply and then try and make a noise for as long as you can. Earn extra points for making your partner laugh or ending on an amusing note.

Try to not think about penguins
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
This is especially hard, because by trying too much, you remember what you were trying to avoid thinking of. If you try too little, you end up thinking about penguins anyway.

Use your secret mind power
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Pick a passing by and try to use your mind power to command them do something, like drop their bag or knock into someone. The law of averages dictates that sooner or later one of your mind commands will come true, so you can convince yourself that you really have super human powers and waste even more time trying them out.

Scratch yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Go ahead, scratch yourself now. Even if nothing itches, go ahead. Doesn't that feel pretty good?

Repeat the same word over and over until it loses its meaning
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Pick a random word out of a magazine and say it aloud to yourself until it becomes a meaningless set of noises.

Hurt yourself
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
What is pain? Why is it unpleasant? There's nothing physical about it - it's all in your mind. Plus, after pinching yourself for awhile, boredom will seem nice next to being in pain.

Try to swallow your tongue
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
There's not much to say about this one. It is possible, but really stupid.

Pretend to be a car
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Make appropriate revving noises in your head as you walk along and add a racing commentary as you pass strangers in the street. Use blinking eyes as indicators for extra authenticity.

Look at something for awhile, shut eyes, study after image
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
Another great time waster. It takes about 30 seconds of staring to create an after image, and the image is then viewable for about the same length of time. Fun to combine this one with pushing on your eyes.

Get yourself as nauseated as possible
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Best achieved by looking straight up and spinning around. Try to be so dizzy you can't even stand up. This is also entertaining due to the "makes boredom seem a lot better" effect (see "Hurt Yourself").

Invent a weird twitch
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Adopt a bizarre twitch (e.g. flicking your head irregularly, twitching with eye or busting out sporadic cough noises) and try it out whe you go shopping.

Make a low buzzing noise
(Amusement Potential: 15-30 minutes)
Hours of fun in libraries! Keeping a totally straight face and looking nonchalant, make a low pitch humming/buzzing noise and see who reacts.

THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH VERY LITTLE

See what's in your neighbour's rubbish/trash
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes)
You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR or a used toothbrush.

Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.

Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.

Make prank phone calls
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes)
Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.

Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
(Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.

Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!!!!!

Try and sound Welsh
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?

Burn things with a magnifying glass
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes)
Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.

THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON

Have a water/milk drinking contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward (you'll actually barf or die). To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them.

Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-does this really work?

Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.

Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.

Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.

I Want One

Crosby pulls an Ovechkin

Not QUITE as crazy as Ovechkins goal last year, but its still amazing and you gotta give the kid credit.

YES I GOT A YOUTUBE POST THING.

So yeah, i can post youtube stuff now.

You've all seen this before, but its amazing so whatever.

If you haven't, then.... uh.... shawn you tell them.

Bling Bling for Beckham.

Would you ever pay someone 250 million dollars to play soccer for 5 years? No? Well lets ask the L.A. Galaxy of the Major League Soccer (MLS is an American soccer league) . They are paying David Beckham to play soccer for that exact amount. He is now the highest paid athlete in the world. The next guy under him is some baseball player making 25 million a season (I'd bother getting his name, but its baseball...who cares?). I wonder whats going to happen when the soccer league folds....i mean does the entire soccer league even make that kind of money? Cause the last time i checked U.S.A and soccer weren't in the same sentence.

smacky jack

Okay, so I have a statistics class from 7pm-10pm on Thursday nights. So, I'm sitting in this class and my phone rings. Luckily, it was on vibrate so nobody noticed. Anyways I pull my phone out and the display message says its my mom.....

I flip open the phone really quick and whisper really quick "mom I'm in class ahhh" and i hang up. I put my phone back in my pocket.

30 seconds later, my phone rings again and the display, once more, says its my mom. I open my phone and say "I'm in class" a lot slower then last time. I didn't hang up instantly and "JOSHHHH" blasted through the cellphone speaker so loud that the girl beside me heard it and started to laugh. I had to hang up.

The cell phone rang again. I wasn't going to pick it up. I shut my phone off.

Class Ended and I went home. I got home, and the phone rang. My dad was on the phone. He explained that my mom had been calling home for the last hour freaking out and saying how I was "cracked" out on drugs and couldn't talk and totally out of it.

I laughed so hard i cried.

After i was done laughing, my dad told me to check my house answering machine right now and delete the messages on it because the guys I live with are gonna think there insane.

I laughed some more.

Apparently, my mom, my sister, and my dad all called and left me a crazy message. Unfortunately for them, I don't know how to check the answering machine and can't be bothered. So, everyones going to think they're insane. Oh well.

I told my dad I'd call my mom and said goodnight to him.

I called my mom and the moment she picked up the phone i started to laugh. Not the brightest idea given that she thought I was on drugs. I quickly realized that and abrubtly beltered "IM NOT DRUGS." A large and long sigh of relief came from the phone. She then explained that she thought i had said "I'm crashed."

I have no idea how you can think someone is on drugs from the words "I'm crashed." Thats honestly the last thing I would think of. I didn't even know "crashed" had any meaning concurrent with drugs other then "the aftereffects of the ending of a high off of drugs" ....but thats only for like crack or heroine.......which is like crazy.

Now I got to think what would make my mom think I would ever do such a thing. Maybe she thinks someone stabbed me with a heroine needle or something.

***this is in no way being told to make fun of my mom. i love my mom. shes one of my heroes. shes unintentionally pretty hilarious. ***

I'll have a Venti, No fat, No Foam, No Whip, Extra Hot, Cat-Monkey Dung Latte

How much is a good cup o' joe worth to you? In our crazed caffienated society no price seems to be too high. Kopi Luwak, the world's rarest and most expensive coffee beans are harvested in Indonesia. Kopi Luwak are the most famous type of Robusta coffee beans and are considered a gourmet coffee. Extremely rare, it is estimated that as little as 500 pounds of Kopi Luwak coffee beans are available each year. It is such a highly desired coffee that it sells for $150 per quarter pound. This is an unimaginable high price for coffee but the story behind Kopi Luwak will make you understand why it's such a desired product. It will also reinforce the belief that truth is stranger than fiction.

The way in which the beans for Kopi Luwak are harvested is tre bizzaro. Meet the palm civet a common marsupial. These animals tend to climb coffee trees in this area and eat only coffee cherries. As coffee cherries are a major part of its diet (along with insects, small mammals, and fruits), they were long considered a pest in this region. However, a remarkable thing happens when they eat these coffee cherries. Due to their digestive systems, the palm civet is only able to digest the softer outer shell of the coffee cherry. However, little layers of the coffee cherries' remain with the inner coffee bean remaining in tact. Somehow in this whole process, the enzymes in their stomachs add extra flavor to the coffee bean through fermentation. This has resulted in one of the most sought after types of coffee available.

In case any of that flew over your head let me sum it up for you. The most expensive coffee in the world, $600.00 per pound, is found in the crap of some jungle monkey cat that has flavoured and fermented it with it's stomach acids and digestive enzymes. I wish that this was all a sick joke invented by yours truly, but its unfortunately not. For more info click here.

Kenny Rogers Jackass

This classic deserves to be on the site. My favourite is the fetchin the bat with my teeth trick!

Dog Sex Puke?

Some things just leave you speechless.

Punk'd

Watch as Ashton Kutcher punks Fred Durst, Christina Aguillera, and 50 Cent. Classic!

OmeleteVille

One of my other JT SNL favs!

Blame Africa

In the Western World, "black" is most often used with a negative connotation. Think about it...

The black plague, blackmail , black ice, black tuesday, the black cat, black sheep, and perhaps most notably the black lung (Remember that part in Zoolander when Derek goes home to his family and after working in the coal mines tells his father "I think I'm getting the Black Lung, Pop. It's not very well ventilated down there. .")

This winter why can't "white ice" be responsible for car accidents? We always refer to ice as this colour when it's not causing car accidents. Let's be a little bit more intelligent this year and get past our blackisms.

Happy New Year ++

First Off, I'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year.

I'd also like to mention that this year (2007) I touched Michael Ayottes privital area with my left hand before i even touched my own. It's an honourable mention seeing as Michael is a very sexy young man. I almost feel bad assaulting him in such a manner, but I am fairly sure he enjoyed it. I enjoyed it too. If you ever read this Mike, I love you. Your the man....after me and my fellow blog mates of course. But seriously, This year is looking great so far.

Also, if you haven't yet done so, please take a few hours of your life to mourn the death of Foxtrot. Bill Amend has decided to stop doing the weeklies. Though he will continue to do the Weekends (so i believe.), the essence of Foxtrot is dead. Without a dobt, it will live on in our minds forever.

Fox out,
Josh

P.S. CLICK ON THE PHOTO TO SEE IT ENLARGED SINCE U CANT READ IT AS IS. THAT ONES FOR YOU SHAWN.