Inspire

Rise and demand; you are a burning flame.

You are sure to conquer there where the final horizon

Becomes a drop of blood, a drop of life,

Where you will carry the universe on your shoulders,

Where the universe will bear your hope.

if water is jesus...whats the devil?

In a recent post entitled "kasper and josh's conversation at the gym" we came to the conclusion that water is liquid Jesus. One very wise and respectful person asked soon after "if water is Jesus, what is the devil?". Well let me answer that.

The devil, is nothing more then a Ford Focus. It's cheap and ugly and just downright terrible. However, people still buy Ford Focuses (why?!) just like they still buy into the devil. So, generally speaking, the devil is no more then random crap.

Always remember, you can't kill water by running it over with a Ford Focus, but you can kill a Ford Focus by fueling it with water - or just plain drowning it.

And if Jesus is feeling creative..... water pours down on a nearby hill causing a mudslide to occur and it burrys any random crap (*cough Ford Focus cough*) in its path.

Either or.....Good game Ford Focus.

Muzak for the Masses: Part 2

Hey everybody!! It's new music time again!! This week we're putting the spotlight on a local band (Toronto) called Turn Off The Stars. They have a really complete sound that is similar to Coldplay. So if you're sick of the old Coldplay stuff, or you can't wait for a new album, then this is for you. P.S. If you don't know who Coldplay is.... then you're likely one of those people who've stuck their heads in a microwave to, "see how it feels".

You can download here: http://www.f-forge.com/?d=MQmPBrfapcJXLAbioGT2

OR

Visit the website here: www.turnoffthestars.com

kasper and josh's conversation at the gym

Kasper : here have some water

Josh : nah man

Kasper : scared your going to get my STDs?

Josh : yup, I can see it now, 'Mom I got Herpes from Kaspers water bottle.' But seriously, I have a throbbing headache, so no water.

Kasper : water is liquid Jesus. It heals all

Josh : what????

(random guy walks into changeroom)

Kasper : the earth is made of 75% water. People are made of 75% water. Jesus was a person....so water is 75% Jesus.

Josh : wow i never thought of it like that.

(5 seconds later)

Josh : WAIT, that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Dude, theres some sort of fallacy in there.

Kasper : it makes total sense.

Random Guy : I have no idea what you guys are talking about. All I hear is Jesus and a lot of water.

Kasper : don't bother bro. He doesn't even get it (looks at me)

Josh : you aren't making any sense. If Jesus is 75% water, that doesn't mean water is 75% Jesus.

Kasper : your right, that makes water 100% Jesus.

Josh : .........................

Kasper : Besides, the point is that water heals all just like Jesus.

Josh : whatever ha. that random guy thinks were crazy yo.

Kasper : oh well.

Josh : his loss.

a story of a boy

There was this boy named Jordan. Jordan was a nice boy, the kind of boy a young girl wants to take home and show her mother THE FIRST DAY they meet. One day Jordan got a job and found himself working with this boy named Rodney. Rodney was a not-so-nice boy. He was the kind of boy a young girl sneeks out of the house to meet and gets screwed up (in the head ha) by. Jordan and Rodney had nothing in common, but since they were the only employees at Valumart (forgot to mention that bit) they became very close acquaintances. They didn't hit it off at first, but ended up respecting one another and taking on a few characteristics of each other. 6 months passed and Jordan and Rodney changed. Rodney, was no longer a not-so-nice boy. He actually became quite the charmer. Girls would no longer sneak out of the house only to get screwed up by Rodney, but they would walk through the front door and only get tainted in the head minorly. The other boy, Jordan, continued being the nice boy he was, but if compared to the person he once was, one would notice a drop of rebel in him. He was no longer the boy girls wanted to show their mother the FIRST DAY, but became the boy they'd show the SECOND DAY. Also, if the girl was unable to come out he would encourage them to sneek out the back window, a trick he learned from Rodney. After one year, Jordan and Rodney had become very good friends, although there was a little bit of distaste when Rodney got a 50 cent raise and Jordan didn't. They continued working there for many years to come. They both became seniour managers and got fat.

the moral of the story is dont work at valumart because your life goes nowhere.

the end.

platypus, puddles, and grumps

My platypus is better then yours.
My platypus is the strongest of all.
So take your platapus elsewhere,
Or my platypus will eat your platypus

A friend told me to write about platapuses. The only platupus I know is the animal platypus. I had to check how to spell it and it's definetley not platapus or platupus. I fixed my spelling in the pointless section.

The spelling of a word is really quite irrelevent as long as people can determine what you mean to say. Though technically it weakens the strength of your argument/what you want to say if your grammar and spelling are terrible and people noticably see it and think your stupid - hence the ruining. None of this matters though because people think I'm stupid already since I'm writing about platypuses. I don't mind; life goes on. That's deep, like a puddle.

Puddles are created when there is a hole or crevise in the ground and it fills with water. The status of puddles is really quite unique because although people find much fun and love in puddles there is also a lot of hate for them. A few different ways you can find fun and love in puddles are jumping in them (fun), spraying people as you drive (fun), and putting your coat down for some nice girl and hitting it off (love).

Some people hate puddles. Many of these people have generic reasons such as "I'm dressed nice" or "Being wet is uncomfortable", but many people are just plain stupid and think its immature to use puddles for there amusement. These people I like to call grumps.

The dictionary defines grumps as "a cranky complaining person." Being a grump is a sin. The world used to be full of grumps. Then God flooded the earth and wiped all of them out. He'd do it again, but he promised never to do it again. I'm sure he had good reason for the promise, but I sure wouldn't have minded if he hadn't promised and he decided to wipe all grumps off the earth again......tomorow would be a great day

Confessions of a Saint

In this Beginning, O God, You have made heaven and earth.

In Your Word,

In Your Son,

In Your Power,

In Your Wisdom,

In Your Truth.

Wondrously You spoke and wondrously made.

Who shall comprehend? Who declare it?

What is it that gleams through me?

What strikes my heart without hurt?

What makes me shudder and glow, impassioned?

This force is so unlike me, so I shudder.

But this force is what I was made to be like, so I ignite.

Muzak For The Masses

Two new bands that I found this morning while I should have been studying for midterms are Aereogramme (Post-Rock, pictured on the left) and Page France (Indie, Folk, pictured above). Both bands have really different styles but do have something to offer thats much better than Celine Dion (who sucks). Oh, and if you like the music please support the artist. Don't be a freeloader douchebag.




Visit their MySpace pages to listen to some audio:

Aereogramme: http://www.myspace.com/aereogrammeofficial

Page France: http://www.myspace.com/pagefrance


Or even download a cd:
Aereogramme: http://www.f-forge.com?d=D35HuJLnA9xia1NFVs4o
Page France : http://rapidshare.de/files/29813900/page_france_-_pear.zip
http://rapidshare.de/files/30001992/page_france_-_sister.zip

The Greatest Inventions Ever Created - Part 1

One of the greatest inventions ever created was soap.

Soap is suspected to be invented in 2800 B.C. by the Ancient Babylons. They enjoyed their soap in many ways. They would wash themselves, was their sheep, and their clothes with the soap they created. Their soap was nothing like the soap we have today which is beautifully scented, moisturizing, colourful, and just plain dandy grand. I personally believe the Ancient Babylon soap really sucked. I believe this because later on in time people stopped using it. The early greeks (11th-14th century B.C.) didn't use soap. Now, from first impression thats really really gross, BUT you have to remember that the Greeks were ridiculously smart. The greeks invented democracy, university, and play-doh. That being said, if they stopped using soap there had to be a really good reason; the reason being bad soap (duh). Instead of soap, they used clay, sand, and ashes, and then annointed themselves with oil, and scraped it off with this thing called a strigil. Eventually they started using soap again, so some smart greek must have invented a better kind. It definetely wasn't Socrates.

But why is soap one of the greatest inventions? Without soap, we would be dirty stinky people. We would all have lice, we would all be greasy and have bad skin complexions. Also we wouldn't live as long. Cleanliness increases ones life span. All the smart people who invented wonderful things such as the lightbulb wouldn't have lived long enough to invent what they invented. That is why soap is one of the greatest invention ever.

Mind you, soap in large amounts is bad. Over the last 100 years we have increased our cleanliness by 12 fold and because of this the amount of people with allergies has increased drastically. 100 years ago, allergies virtually did not exist. None of this really matters to me though because I do not have allergies. Long live soap.

Another Young Boy

A long time ago, another young boy had a dream, but his dream was not to make the world a better place. Much like Pinky and the Brain, his dream was to conquer the world. A planet that was his and nobody elses. He wanted to sit on a throne and observe as the billions of people around him fearfully quivered at his power. He was the spawn of satan- the beast; just plain evil. However, he amounted to nothing. He did not come up with a genious plan. He did not contract foreign aliens to make him a droid army. Nor did he cripple every world power and totally anhilate England. He did absolutely nothing whatsoever. Now, it was not because he was stupid. Making a jet airplane out of a toilet and lawnmower is disgustingly inteligent. He was most definetely a genious. The reason he failed was because he lacked motivation. It was his downfall. Instead of thinking "I will make the world quiver" he thought "I want to make the world quiver." May you all read this and learn; learn the lesson and take heed - Without motivation, you are nothing. Your potential is nothing if you cannot grasp it.

Welcome to the World of Pure Imagination- Innaugural Post

A long time ago a young boy had a dream to make the world a better place. A planet where children were given the possibility to experience a greater life because of the dreams this man could make come true. This man never won a Nobel Peace Prize or was considered responsible for any global social movements. Nevertheless, it is true... 1 man can change the world. In our age of cynical criticism and doubt you may think that we are liars. But our hearts tell us that the world is indeed a better place because of Willy Wonka. Where would we be without the everlasting gobstopper? Journey with us as we passionately discover other great people and things about our world... a world of pure imagination.