The History Lesson

For all you retards who slept throug history class or did too much alcohol and drug abuse the night before.

These are the top 20 greatest historical myths.

Click here.

The Office : Future Dwight

Because you should be watching The Office.

Because Dwight is pure funny.

NOTICE: WE WANT YOU!

Over the past 2 days we are averaging 100 visitors per. That's great. Here's a message to you all. M4M is an "open contribution" blog... meaning WE WANT YOU to join us and become an administrator here.

Why on earth would we want strangers to be contributors on this blog? Because it's unorthodox that's why. We want to do it for the sake of the experiement...

So... if you're reading this and you have a blog already, or you're thinking about starting one, or you've never blogged before.... email minutesformemories@gmail.com with your email so I can enable you as a contributor!

We're bringin sexy back, YEA!

Little Blue Men

Never make bets while drunk, or you'll end up Peyton Manning

Chicago Bears fan Scott Wiese made a bet at a bar saying if the Bears lost the Superbowl he'd change his name to Peyton Manning (QB for the Colts....the team they were against) . The Bears lost, but lucky for Scott the judge wouldn't let him change his name. I guess one Peyton is enough.

See the article here

Beer & Water

In the past: Beer = the Devil... In the present: Water = the Devil

Here's the proof...
In the year of 2007 Jennifer Strange, age 28, died of water intoxication whilst participating in a water-drinking contest from a local radio station.

What will them fundamentalist Christians do?

Here's the article.

Facebook Fad

Facebook has stormed the world converting even the strongest myspace haters into facebook believers. Don't believe me? Ask Jonas. He's a living convert. Anyways, M4M now has a super wicked crazy awesome facebook group that i expect everybody to join. Yes, I just said super wicked crazy awesome (it's that good). So just search for "Minutes for Memories" under groups and it'll come up. I expect you all to join (repeated). Especially Nunavut.

Deas Vail...

Forget for a second about the melodic vocal lines and lullaby guitars, forget that I'm telling you a ghost story, and that there's a lady in the band. What you're left with is earnest indie rock that starts with a classically trained vocalist and a band raised on Super Mario Brothers. It ends up anything but simple, full of life and trickery - perhaps akin to the sound your heart makes when being blasted into space.

Download Here.

(Sounds like Mae/Anberlin/Something Corporate)

http://www.deasvail.com/

http://www.myspace.com/deasvail

Andy Phone Incident

i just started watching this show and from the very moment i started I realized why everyone loves it.

Pic of the Day

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K - FED Takes on Google.

K-Fed is pretty much the coolest guy ever. He married a really great person, created the best cd of the year, and now has even defeated Google. Thats right... Google has become obsolote with the invention of the new K-Fed Search Engine. When you use Kevin to search the internet K-Fed gives back as well. Every time you use this engine to search the web you stand a chance of winning authentic autographed K-Fed gear! How awesome is that?

Peyton Manning is the Greatest

A Tribute to Queen.

By request, a tribute to Queen... I've searched and i have come to the conclusion that you can't do a tribute to Queen, they were way awsome! However, i will not discredit the foo fighters attempt, they were good, just youtube doesn't have a video with good sound quality (we aim for excellence on M4M). Here is 'Tie Your Mother Down'. Enjoy :)

End of Your Rope?

We've all had those days at work where we've wanted to just "lose it"! An annoying coworker usually doesn't help the situation. Watch what happens when the guy in the middle on the right pushes his luck as he keeps throwing crap at his fellow companion.

All Apologies...

So... you guys here are all well aware of my outward disdain for celebrities. With that in mind, I wanted to recognize an important accomplishment. Britney has left rehab. Hooray! In no time flat Brit has graduated highest honours and received her loser diploma. Here's some good recent footage of Brit finally escaping the confines of drug-free life.

A Tribute to Floyd.

I don't think we've posted a tribute on this blogspot yet have we? If we have it probably wasn't a serious one. This is a video from Dream Theater. They did a concert and covered Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon album. I don't think that guitar solo could have been done as good as David Gilmour plays it. P.S don't mind the douche bag singing.

SNL - Chris Rock

Rock pontificates on the plight of white women and balck men.

Wowzersssssssssss!

So I was over at www.blogsrater.com and someone posted a review of the site. I thought it would likely have been a really bad review seeing as we're all a bunch of students with no time to invest here right now... But on the contrary... this person was so mezmerized by our loser couch jumping abilities that they had this to say:

"When I first clicked on the link to this blog, I was expecting some cheesy "sentimental" entries, but I was wrong. This blog is a mix of a scrapbook of random funny videos/pictures, but also has entries with thought and insight. Most of the entries have pictures that speak for themselves so if you're not a person with the patience to sit there and burn your eyes out with long entries, this blog is perfect for you. This is definitely a 10/10 blog filled with endless entertainment! The fact that the blogwriters were all Canadian got a few bonus points from me as well...haha. =D"

FEEL THE LOVE GENTLEMEN.... LET IT SOAK IN LIKE
SUNSHINE ON A WARM SUMMERS DAY!

So a while a go there was a movie released entitled Beowulf and Grendel. Not a very good movie from what I've heard, however there is an alternative version. I must say I am impressed; and to think that they didn't have to hire any actors at all. Intrigued? Click here to watch all 3 parts of the movie.

The Dumbass Test

Do you think you know it all? Take this test, it doesn't lie.

http://www.addictinggames.com/dumbasstest.html

Invisi-Bandages

VROOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!

I scored 86.2..... beat that!

http://www.107.peugeot.co.uk/peugeot.swf

Celeb-Look-Alike

Find the celeb in you... visit My Heritage to see which celeb shares your facial features. Also, I don't know who's cooler to look like... Mark Hamill or Zac Hanson? So hard!

Happy St. Patty's!!

Everyone knows to wear “Green” on March 17th ... But why? ...
And who was St. Patrick??

Saint Patrick was the missionary credited with converting the Irish to Christianity in the late 300’s A.D.

Historical sources report that Saint Patrick was not even Irish! He was born around 373 A.D. in either Scotland or in Roman Britain (the Romans left Britain in 410 A.D.). His real name is believed to have been Maewyn Succat, but he changed it to Patrick after he became a priest. At the age of 16, while living in Ireland, he was kidnapped by pirates and sold into slavery.

During his 6-year captivity, he worked as a shepherd. He found strength in his faith. He finally escaped and made it to France, where he became a priest (and later a bishop).

When he was about 60 years old, St. Patrick traveled back to Ireland to spread the Christian word. He used the green shamrock, which resembles a three-leafed clover, as a metaphor to explain the concept of the Trinity - father, son, and holy spirit. The Irish people embraced him. The old saint died in his beloved Ireland, March 17th, about 460 A.D. The land which once enslaved him, he had set free.

There you have it... an M4M first... something educational on this blog

(this will probably be the last time).

Maury the Great and Pickles

Maury the Great and Peaches

J.O.B.

So, I was going to find a cool quote to maybe post on my facebook under the quotes (by the way, id like to welcome Jonas to the world of facebook). Anyways, I came across this quote,

"A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B." -Fats Domino

I don't know who Fats Domino is, but you and Jonas would probably get along real well.

Jonas once asked me if I had found a J.O.B.. I stood there staring at him trying to figure out what J.O.B. stood for. I clued in a good 15 seconds later.

"Sometimes I feel like my brain just isn't turning on" -Jash (made up just now)

Nike Ad

Nike's attempt at reaching a new age group for selling shoes.
Caption reads: "Two months ago, Gunther Frigglesworth was in the hospital with a broken hip. 10 Minutes from now he'll be eating that pigeon. How does an old man with a surgically repaired hip catch a pigeon?
Just do it."

Hey alzheimers looks like fun!

Random Villainous Quote

Just a random quote from a random villain. Today's quote is from The Joker;
"...after I've gotten rid of Batman and Robin for good, I will rule the waves. Me, the Joker, king of the surf and all the surfers. Then, Gotham City! Later, the world!"

(This guy seems to share my interests in domination.)

A Villain's Introduction

In the spirit of being labelled official villain of Minutes For Memoiries I decided to let you guys take a quiz to determine which villain you are. So click here to take the quiz. Apparantly I'm Venom. (Though Mystique and Catwoman were close seconds.)

Welcome Judas to M4M!

Every blog needs a villain... with that said M4M has searched far and wide for the person that could be trusted the least. Our search invetably led us to Jerusalem to a 20 century-old badass who would sell his mother to the circus for a bag of Doritos. Take a moment to show some love or else he'll betray you. Remember... Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

I Heart Nunavut!

See that map in the top right hand corner? No? Well then you must be a friggin moron... anyways it looks like this:

Anyhow... let's get to the point. You see the two red dots that are larger than all the rest? That indicates hits or "readership". Now seeing that this bitchin blog is composed in the GTA you would expect for there to be a large red indicator there. But how the hell do you explain that other large dot in Nunavut? I am at a loss for words. The third territory is truly our greatest fan and I'm honoured by this act of loyalty! If anyone from Nunavut ever wants to become a contributing member of M4M you got my vote.

Clooney Wouldn't Mind If He Died.

George Clooney wouldn't mind if he died tomorrow, because he is content with everything he has achieved in his life.

In a recent interview Clooney said that he is happy with his life and feels he has achieved a lot for a 45-year-old. Clooney was stated saying, "If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, I've had a pretty good run."

With all that said, I'm pretty sure that nobody else would care if he died tomorrow either.

Thanks for nothing George. You were the worst Batman ever!

Loser.

The Paper Plane Master

Go play this game..... uber-fun. Basically you create paper airplanes and then see how far you can throw them. My personal best was 45.5 meters. Beat that!

http://solidworkspilot.com/

Biggest Computer Geek - Jesus vs. Satan

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer.
They had been going at it for days, and, frankly, God was tired of hearing all the bickering.
Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."
So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.

They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports.
They did every job known to man.

Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency, and Satan was faster than hell.
Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld.
Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming: "It's gone! It's all GONE! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work.
Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said, JESUS SAVES.

Ode to Failure

Now that we've hit "crunch time" in this semester's academic season I thought it would be fitting to make some form of relevant contribution. We all have those times when we're sick and tired of school and we just "lose it". Below are my favourite examples of a few people who just couldn't keep it in any longer.

Steven Segal- Kung Fu

John Madden New Commercial!

Pop! Goes My Heart

A music video from the movie "Music and Lyrics" starring Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore. I've had this song stuck in my head for 2 weeks now. POP! Goes My Heart!

B Boy Anthem ft. KRS-One

The craziest b-boy vid ever.

Deep Reflection

The other day I found myself thinking deeply about a few serious issues in life. The most notable of these was, "What would happen if Sideshow Bob and Jack Osborne had a love child?" My quest led me far and near... here, there, and everywhere... until I found the the very product of that lovefest for myself.

Visit here to view the product of my tenuous research.

Welcome to the Dark Side

There is this series on youtube. It's about Chad Vader, he's Darth Vaders cousin. He's the day shift manager at a local supermarket. Watch the plot unfold in the six episodes posted.

A Tribute to Those Trendy Emo Kids

let the video speak for itself.

Collected Material I've Been Meaning to Share

OMGOSH! where have i been? well to be honest, forgot my sign in name. and password. here is some funny stuff i've been collecting over the past... few months now maybe??? anyways, these are great!

the beach party

i need something to write about so im posting about a past experience that was not previously recorded anywhere. enjoy.

One of the beauties of being in university is the fact that you get invited to super sexy parties. I got invited to a beach party. Sorta self-explanatory. You dress up like your going to the beach. The people I know who were hosting this party cranked there apartment up to about 26 degrees. My glasses fogged when I walked in. It was crazy.

Now, you'd think every girl at this party would be walking around in a bikini. Now, in the ideal university situation (**note: not my situation), this would be the best case scenario, but this was not the case. All the girls at the party were quite modest and wore skirts or shorts and a tank top of some sort overtop of there bikini. Every girl did this, except for one......

This girl for some reason wanted to do a shot with me. Now, i was in the middle of my one and only drink so i figured why not. I took the shot. Made her smile. Whatever. She then wanted to dance....

My first thought was....uh, i don't want to dance with this girl, but she bugged me and i finally gave in. I figured why not, it couldn't be that bad.

I guess this is a good time to mention that the girl was trashed. haha. So, we start dancing and immediately this girl starts grinding me to bits. Now she's in nothing else but a bikini. I'm in a bathing suit and t-shirt. I didn't even know this girl. Like, it felt like i lost 0.25% of my virginity right then and there. it was just wrong.

It didn't take me long to realize this is the only way she plans on dancing with me. I waited for God to smite this girl, but unfortunately it didn't happen and i realized I was kinda on my own on this one. So I quickly stop and tell her I don't want to dance in the nicest way possible, "I'm to self-aware to do this."

The conversation continued......
"you should drink more so you feel less self-aware"
"No i have church in the morning"
"Oh what church do you go to?"
"Um, i go to WMB (waterloo medinite bretheren)"
"OMGOSH THATS MY CHURCH!!"

My jaw dropped. I sorta just turned away and sat down. The girl followed.

So were sitting there and she randomly turns to me and says "So, whats your opinion on creative evolution?" I tried not to laugh and explained to her that I really don't care about the structure God used to create the world. I mean the worlds already created. It's here. It's done. When I die I'll find out exactly what he did. Why waste valuable time talking about it now....especially at a nice beach party?

So I start looking around for an opportunity to jump into a conversation with ANYBODY, when she asks me another questions "What's your opinion on homosexuality?"

Well, that one I actually answered. To keep it short and simple it was more or less "hate the sin, love the sinner" and "if u kick gay people out of the church, how the hell are they supposed to get saved." She liked what I said, agreed, but apparently was only pretending to want to have an intellectual conversation (I don't think she could really have one anyways) and asked me to dance again.

I told her I didn't know how to dance. I lied. Revelation 21:8 says i'll burn in hell for lying. Let me tell you, if I had gotten out of dancing with this girl, it would have been worth it. She jumped at the opportunity to teach me how to dance and grabbed my friend Paul as a dance partner to teach me "moves."

I don't understand why she danced normal with Paul, but when it came time to dance with me started her whole bump, grind, and steal more of my purity thang. Oh well, while she was swapping between Paul and I, Paul hinted that she has a boyfriend. So, I ask the drunk "Christian" girl if she had a boyfriend and she told me yes.

"Wheres your boyfriend right now" I asked.
"We don't like to go to parties together, we make each other jealous"
"Oh, I can't dance anymore" I said.
"Why?" she asked.
"Honestly, I'm just way turned on right now" I answered sarcastically
"Um, thats kinda awkward..." (she took it seriously)

So I unintentionally lied. Shoot me. It don't matter, she definetely stopped following me around. Talk about an unhealthy relationship. "We don't like to make each other jealous'. What the frig? Ick. she was a crazy |insert bad word here|

Sorry, I apologize, the boyfriend (who wasnt at the party) is just as pathetic, if not worse, then the girl. God, smite them both.

Moral of the story : don't drink excessive amounts of alcohol, don't be in effed up unhealthy relationships, and don't be a |insert bad word here|

That sums up the crazy part of the beach party.
The End.

Excuse for a post

I am so lame that the topic of my post is "Excuse for a post". I haven't posted in a fair while and feel the need to post, but have absolutely no material to post on. I could probably try and search stuff out, but I'm to lazy at the moment. I'm probably only allowed to do this kind of a post once. If i did it again it would only be repetitive. So, enjoy / / bear with it .....its the last time.

To put some use to this post...I'm going to state the % of postage by each of our bloggers.
49.05% shawn
39.1% josh
10.1% DSW (omgosh he hasn't posted in so long i have forgotten his name....SNAP)
0.75% adam

{{ALL NUMBERS ARE AN APPROXIMATION....I DIDN'T BOTHER CHECKING TO SEE IF THERE WAS AN EASY WAY OF TALLYING THEM.....AND HAVE TOO MUCH OF A LIFE TO DO IT THE LONG WAY}}

its 12am, so, goodmorning starshine! the earth says hello!

That's What You Get!

How to Wipe Your Ass

I don’t remember being shown how to wipe my ass. My mother never knelt in front of me on the toilet and coached me on my form, and I should hope that your parents showed similar restraint. In theory, this is something that we learn through trial and error — even if we don’t remember it — and it is very likely that every person has developed his or her own masterful variation on any number of possible techniques.

With that said, for an official description of various techniques and strategies visit this link.

How Steady is Your Hand?