the beach party

i need something to write about so im posting about a past experience that was not previously recorded anywhere. enjoy.

One of the beauties of being in university is the fact that you get invited to super sexy parties. I got invited to a beach party. Sorta self-explanatory. You dress up like your going to the beach. The people I know who were hosting this party cranked there apartment up to about 26 degrees. My glasses fogged when I walked in. It was crazy.

Now, you'd think every girl at this party would be walking around in a bikini. Now, in the ideal university situation (**note: not my situation), this would be the best case scenario, but this was not the case. All the girls at the party were quite modest and wore skirts or shorts and a tank top of some sort overtop of there bikini. Every girl did this, except for one......

This girl for some reason wanted to do a shot with me. Now, i was in the middle of my one and only drink so i figured why not. I took the shot. Made her smile. Whatever. She then wanted to dance....

My first thought was....uh, i don't want to dance with this girl, but she bugged me and i finally gave in. I figured why not, it couldn't be that bad.

I guess this is a good time to mention that the girl was trashed. haha. So, we start dancing and immediately this girl starts grinding me to bits. Now she's in nothing else but a bikini. I'm in a bathing suit and t-shirt. I didn't even know this girl. Like, it felt like i lost 0.25% of my virginity right then and there. it was just wrong.

It didn't take me long to realize this is the only way she plans on dancing with me. I waited for God to smite this girl, but unfortunately it didn't happen and i realized I was kinda on my own on this one. So I quickly stop and tell her I don't want to dance in the nicest way possible, "I'm to self-aware to do this."

The conversation continued......
"you should drink more so you feel less self-aware"
"No i have church in the morning"
"Oh what church do you go to?"
"Um, i go to WMB (waterloo medinite bretheren)"
"OMGOSH THATS MY CHURCH!!"

My jaw dropped. I sorta just turned away and sat down. The girl followed.

So were sitting there and she randomly turns to me and says "So, whats your opinion on creative evolution?" I tried not to laugh and explained to her that I really don't care about the structure God used to create the world. I mean the worlds already created. It's here. It's done. When I die I'll find out exactly what he did. Why waste valuable time talking about it now....especially at a nice beach party?

So I start looking around for an opportunity to jump into a conversation with ANYBODY, when she asks me another questions "What's your opinion on homosexuality?"

Well, that one I actually answered. To keep it short and simple it was more or less "hate the sin, love the sinner" and "if u kick gay people out of the church, how the hell are they supposed to get saved." She liked what I said, agreed, but apparently was only pretending to want to have an intellectual conversation (I don't think she could really have one anyways) and asked me to dance again.

I told her I didn't know how to dance. I lied. Revelation 21:8 says i'll burn in hell for lying. Let me tell you, if I had gotten out of dancing with this girl, it would have been worth it. She jumped at the opportunity to teach me how to dance and grabbed my friend Paul as a dance partner to teach me "moves."

I don't understand why she danced normal with Paul, but when it came time to dance with me started her whole bump, grind, and steal more of my purity thang. Oh well, while she was swapping between Paul and I, Paul hinted that she has a boyfriend. So, I ask the drunk "Christian" girl if she had a boyfriend and she told me yes.

"Wheres your boyfriend right now" I asked.
"We don't like to go to parties together, we make each other jealous"
"Oh, I can't dance anymore" I said.
"Why?" she asked.
"Honestly, I'm just way turned on right now" I answered sarcastically
"Um, thats kinda awkward..." (she took it seriously)

So I unintentionally lied. Shoot me. It don't matter, she definetely stopped following me around. Talk about an unhealthy relationship. "We don't like to make each other jealous'. What the frig? Ick. she was a crazy |insert bad word here|

Sorry, I apologize, the boyfriend (who wasnt at the party) is just as pathetic, if not worse, then the girl. God, smite them both.

Moral of the story : don't drink excessive amounts of alcohol, don't be in effed up unhealthy relationships, and don't be a |insert bad word here|

That sums up the crazy part of the beach party.
The End.