Muzak for the Masses: Part 254

Ok Suckers!! So the new Brand New cd is finally out!! This ones called, "God and the Devil are Raging Inside Me". You can downoald it for frizzle (for free) from the link below:

http://www.f-forge.com?d=GniNtboASFmxXZpwhJs9

ENJOY!

GAYEST T.V. COMMERCIAL... Literally..

I had to watch this twice just to make sure that I understood it properly... and yes, it is indeed a commercial for anal sex. Wow! (CREDIT FOR THIS FIND GOES TO ADAM "THE PERV" POWELL , WHO SENT ME LINK).

Do You Remember 1984?

Oh, "The Good Ol' Days"!! The greatest year of my life was 1984. At the ripe age of 2 I was now eating solid foods and my mom was wiping my bum bum after I took solid dumps. Most importantly... This was the infamous year of "The Gitterbug"!! Oh how WHAM! captured our hearts with this pop classic. Let's reminisce on the best song of 1984....

Everybody Needs a Hero.

With respect to the monstrous recent success of the X-Men movies, and the rip off television show "Heroes"... I thought it necessary to let everyone know who my heroes are... Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado...MC Miker G and DJ Sven!!!!
WOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!

This might be a little sketchy...

Well I watched this today. I'll admit I laughed even had a good chuckle. It's probably a little overboard for most Christians AND not just the fundamentalist ones to accept as "good clean fun". But it might be worth a viewing. Let me know what you think either way.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJgYtXwmnLw&eurl=

George Bush Talks to School Kids

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him what his name is.

'Billy.'

'And what is your question, Billy?

'I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?'

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh that's right question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him what his name is.

'Steve'

'And what is your question, Steve?'

'I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden? Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what the f... happened to Billy?'

7 Deadly Sins

Take the quiz and post your results:

Click Here If You Dare

My Procrastination Poem

I'm going to see happy feet.
It's going to be grand.
If I get disapointed,
I'll post it and spam.

But avoid the negative,
It's bitter and cold
For the movies potential,
Is an award winning gold.

Robin Williams is a comedian,
who is usually a pevert,
But he plays a crazy penguin,
and PG movies don't have dirt.

That Frodo hobbits in it,
and he's not off to his doom.
Cause he plays a dancing penguin,
Who is also a cartoon.

So tomorow is friday,
and I'll watch Frodo dance,
It'd be better with a hot date,
but everyone i asked said "no chance"

No thats a lie,
who could say no?
they all said there busy,
they blamed the gosh darn snow.

It doesn't matter that theres no snow.
Atleast they didn't lie.
When I ask them next time though.
They'll tell me they'd rather die.

I'm being depressing,
But its just for the rhyme,
The girls I seriously asked,
Were sad they were missing a good time.

So I have to send out an email,
to friends who will actually show,
and none of those people,
will blame the effing snow.

Happy Feet, Happy Feet,
Gosh I love thee,
My only true wish though,
is that you also love me.

My procrastination poem,
Is now fully complete,
But I can't find my black pen,
**** **** ****, I'm beat.

Did You Know?

Many years ago Christians would get really upset when people would make stuff up about their religion. They called these people heretics. Anyways, sometimes they would take a funnel and shove it in a heretic's mouth. Then they would put a snake in it and burn its tail with fire to make it go down into that poor suckers body. Pretty gross eh?

Cashing In While Pushing Up Daisies

The Forbes annual Top-Earning Dead Celebrities list collectively earned $247 million in the last 12 months. Their estates continue to make money by inking deals involving both their work and the rights to use their name and likenesses on merchandise and marketing campaigns. To land on this year’s list, a star needed to make at least $7 million between October 2005 and October 2006. How crazy is it that dead people are making more money in a year than I will ever make in a lifetime? Something is seriously screwed up here. Anyways, this years list of worm-infested earners breaks down as such (from 1-13):

Kurt Cobain
Elvis Presley
Charles M. Schulz
John Lennon
Albert Einstein
Andy Warhol
Dr. Seuss (Theodor Geisel)
Ray Charles
Marilyn Monroe
Johnny Cash
J.R.R. Tolkien
George Harrison
Bob Marley

For more info: Click Here

World's Biggest Badass!!

This past week I was reading about St. Jerome (AD. 347-420) a monk who had a lot of issues surrounding sex. Man this guy was obsessed with the ladies. Anyways, he tells a story about a young monk who I believe is a candidate for "World's Biggest Badass!" This monk, "a young martyr whose torture consisted of being intimately fondled by a beautiful harlot and who, when he could no longer control his desires, bit off his tongue and spat it in her face." What? Hold on.... the guy was getting a bj, and then bit his own tongue off and spit it in her face! Holy Crap! That's insane!! And very deserving of the title, "Badass"! In my opinion this guy was even more badass than Aaron Ralston. Remember him? He was the hiker whose arm got stuck under a boulder so he cut it off with a dull pocket knife.

Kleerly An Artist

Kleer Keith is on the kutting edge of experimental music... a star in the making! If you thought Gnarls Barkley was fresh, wait till you hear this. Be sure to check his hot EP,

fresh out of the oven!

Download: http://www.f-forge.com?d=WLniQM0vd41shmGEljJo

Real Time Global Statistics

Since were on the kick of linking websites right now, I thought I'd offer one that I look at once and awhile. http://www.worldometers.info/ is fun because you can just look at numbers and stuff.... so I guess is for numbers people who just like to.. you know.... look at things (like numbers). If you don't like numbers, I'd probably not go to a website that features a lot of them... If youre that person, you are stupid, and should probably go to here instead.

brother for sale! only 10 cents!

Find out how much you'd be worth if you were sold. I'm apparently worth $2,206,040. As you can see, it isn't very accurate since I should be worth wayyyy more then that. Oh well. Check it out.

www.humanforsale.com

How rich are you?

Go to this website.
Fill in the correct categories.
And maybe, just maybe you'll get off your "a" double money sign and do something for someone else... maybe.


http://www.globalrichlist.com/index.php

This is for all you nerds out there and the rest of us who think we're too cool to be called nerds.

Watch this video...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8NE5elL30w4

Jesus Camp Revisited

So... I have nothing to say other than just go to the link.

http://thereallygoodnews.blogspot.com/2006/11/controversial-religious-summer-camp.html

Darkwing Duck

Here are some of my favorite Darkwing Duck entrance lines

I am the surprise in your cereal box
I am the smoke that smokes smoked oysters
I am the grade curves that gives you an "F"
I am the fast food that comes back to haunt you
I am the cholesterol that clogs your arteries
I am the hero that every culture in every world needs
I am the wrong number that wakes you at 3 am
I am the batteries that aren't included
I am the widget missing from the easy to assemble swingset
I am the zit that forms when you got a really big date
I am the repairman who tells you your warranty has run out
I am the weirdo that sits next to you on the bus
I am the single career man all women want to date

I am the terror that flaps in the night
I am Darkwing Duck

For more lines go to...
http://www-atdp.berkeley.edu/1623/students/keenahn/DWQUOTE.HTM

Depression... No Laughing Matter.

So many people suffer in silence as they remain prisoners to their own minds and circumstances. The rate at which the diagnosis of depression is rising cannot be ignored or merely explained away but such simple arguments as, "the prevalence of emo within our society". As such I felt it necessary to search the entire web in order to find the cure... that’s right, a healing remedy to once and for all END DEPRESSION!! Doctors have been turning people into "pill poppers" and psychologists have been preying upon those in need for financial gain. I have come to liberate the oppressed with a free cure, to end the exploitation and subjugation of those without happiness.

The Cure is Here

Evilution or Evolution?

If you have grown up in the church, as I have, you are quite aware of the two major positions concerning the origins of human life. Of course I am talking about macro-evolution and creationism. But, an underlying issue that must be examined is, "Are there varying forms of both of these accounts, and if so, what are they?" I have found two such accounts that appear to be credible, and should be considered by any person who would consider themselves to be a thoughtful member of society.

Evolution Option

and

Creation Option

Muzak for the Masses: 4

"This is what you get when you mess with us".

Radiohead = Greatness

Download at:
http://www.f-forge.com/?d=WR5qNHhYcIdGi1uAPyX2

if toys could talk

How many people still play with toys? When was the last time you grabbed that G.I. Joe or Barbie out of that cardboard box in the storage closet and just started playing with them? I haven't done it in forever. Why? Because toys aren't necessary in order for me to make believe anymore. I don't need them. I can write a story, daydream, or have a wacky conversation instead. Why bother with toys. I have no reason to yank out my G.I. Joe (actually mommy never let me have a G.I. Joe.....VIOLENCE IS BAD.....I had Darkwing Duck action figures ha).

But what would happen if toys came to life and could talk?

I don't think any of the toys would act like they're from Toy Story. Some of them might be nice to your face, but I really doubt that because they'd know they're being fake and living a fake life. They'd be like the toys in the movie Small Soldiers. They would act the way they look; the way we assume they would act. Like a G.I Joe would probably always be talking about shooting mother f****** in the head. Imagine an 8 year old playing with that? Kind of funny, but definitely not cool ha. The kid probably wouldn't turn out very good. Personally, If I had an 8 year old kid, I'd rather have him playing with his sisters Barbie then have a G.I. Joe trying to brainwash him into thinking our neighbours are traitors to the flag and that he should make a homemade bomb and "F*** them up."

Barbie probably wouldn't be good for my kid either because assuming Barbies personality matches the way she's advertised (25 year old californian girl who has visited the plastic surgeon on multiple occasions), she'd be a sweetie pie when parents are around and a total skank when they’re not. You’d have to buy a Ken doll to keep her from seducing your 8 year old son. The 8 year old girls who play with Barbie would probably end up being “best friends” with her and become anorexic trying to be just like her and extremely skanky.... and the 8 year old guys who manage to get rid of Ken would learn how to charm girls just a little too well for there tasting. Barbie is a bad choice.. I don’t care what people say. Barbie would not have a PG rating.

We seriously need to find some good natured toys. I mean, what would the players in a table hockey thing say? Nothing can go wrong with them right? I mean, the players on both teams would be super encouraging at the beginning of the game, psych up even more when they start losing by a bit, and get super pissed at you when you start losing and start screaming at each other. You’d be too busy laughing too care that your losing. It’s brilliant. Teach your kids there’s more to life then winning! Pissing people off is just as fun! Ha….maybe table hockey would be sort of bad too.

The one toy you can always count on for being good natured came right out of the ground, that’s right folks…..THE CABBAGE PATCH KIDS. I don’t know how much fun they’d be …whining all the time and wetting their cabbage, but not a bad word would come out of their mouth…and if one ever does….its cause you taught them it. So if toys ever come to life and start talking, Burn the Barbies and G.I Joe’s at the stake, and buy a cabbage patch kid. I shotgun the African American Fire Man. I’m not being racist, check the link...and pick your own cabbage head.

http://www.epinions.com/pr-Toys-Toys_R_Us_Cabbage_Patch_Kids_Fire_Man_African_American

Let’s just all be glad toys don’t talk.

We're so hot we could start a small fire in your Mama's panties!

Welcome to the new Minutes for Memories.

"No", the boring post's haven't gotten any better!

"No", we're not offering anything intelligent for you to read!

"No", we still don't care about what you think!

But...

We do have a new layout.

P.S. Welome DSW to the team of idiots!

CONSUME ( RED ) or CONSUMERED?

Please bear with me as I freak out for a few paragraphs.

I don't know how much you've heard of Project Red, but here is a portion of its manifesto: Project Red is not a charity, it is simply a business model. You buy Project Red stuff. (Motorola, AmEx, Gap, Armani, Converse, Apple) Project Red gets the money. It then buys the pills and distributes them. Sick people in Africa take the pills, stay alive. And continue to take care of their families and contribute socially and economically in their communities.

Sounds great eh? People with HIV in Africa getting badly needed medicine in order to beat their illness, and all because we purchased a “RED” item. Wow! Now you can buy a cell phone and do something great for someone else in need! (Please note the sarcasm). Ever since Bono showed up on Oprah to advertise for his new campaign “Project Red”, my guts have been reeling in disdain for one of my favourite rockers and philanthropists. After viewing the show I headed out to my local GAP to check out the merchandise. All of the merchandise was over-priced and only a portion of all products sold go towards the RED campaign. In other words, they jacked their prices in order to not incur any financial loss. B.S.

Also, the campaign directly ignores the real problem which is our greed, narcissism, and over-consumption. It's a shame that people believe that they are what they buy. I am not necessarily rich because I purchase an Armani t-shirt, and I am not necessarily caring because I purchased a t-shirt where some proceeds go to “a cause”.

Four years ago I decided to cancel my cell phone and become a World Vision sponsor because I couldn't justify my spending. Now people don't have to justify it. They can get a RED Motorola phone and feel good about their purchase.

My point is that people can do more than the status quo. Instead of purchasing a $40 RED t-shirt at GAP (where a couple dollars go to charity), why can't we just expect people to give an entire $40 to charity? I expect more from our world and I believe (perhaps conveniently) that God expects more from our world. Shame on you Bono, I know you know better. Don't think that your so intelligent because you found a way to “trick” our consumer society into being charitable. All you've really done is reinforce their sickness of consumerism.

For more info about this farce of a “good cause” visit either of these websites:

http://www.joinred.com/home.asp

http://joinred.blogspot.com/

AD250 or AD2005?

"There is no honesty in business,

and no justice in the law.

Art and morals are both declining.

Cruelty and lust are regarded as entertaining.

The smell of death is everywhere, and yet,

no one stops to remember the warning of his own morality.

- Cyprian of Carthage AD250.

Comforted to see that nothing has changed.

the christianity i hate

This is why Christianity has more in common with Adolph Hitler then it ever will Jesus.

Watch this trailer and feel free to throw something at the monitor or at least the local compatible charismatic church.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/magnolia/jesuscamp/

Muzak for the Masses: Part 3

Toronto based band Pilot Speed (formerly known as Pilate) have generated a classic gem with their sophmore release "Sell Control for Life's Speed". The sound and style of their music is commonly linked to Radiohead, though there are other notable influences inherent in the songs. In Your Hideout, Knife Grey Sea, and Barely Listening, characterize the overall material of the band quite well. Have a listen and enjoy.

Download the album here: (link will be posted later due to technichal difficulties)

issues in your representation

Someone left the above image as a comment a few blogs back. Whoever was kind enough to bother leaving this lovely image as a comment, I appreciate it even though it is quite meaningless. The next time you decide to leave an image or comment such as the one i posted above, please refrain from using terms such as "no one" or "everybody" which implies that you represent the entire population - which of course you do not. If you wish for your comment to be taken seriously you must clearly state who you are OR the group your representing. Feel free to leave your home address as well and we will be SURE to get back to you. :-) Thank-You.

Are You A Real Man?

What is a real man? Is manhood determined by biological aspects such as genitalia or by gender roles which are determined by socio-cultural influences? Have you ever wondered if you were a metrosexual? Are you a man who wears pink? Do you go with your wife to get your eyebrows waxed? For one perspective on this pertinent issue visit Maddox's website for a classical definition of manhood. You can read his article here: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=real_men