Minutes For Memories

In the Butt!

2008-04-26T23:24:00.001-04:00

Bas Rutten -- What a MOFO!

2008-04-17T16:16:00.001-04:00

Pride Grows Back

2008-04-02T23:12:00.006-04:00

Due to the recent counter reset, it has come to our attention that Nunavut is no longer our biggest fan. The Loss of Nunuvut is a hard hit to m4m's pride, but pride grows back....so we will be okay. If there are any provinces or random countries out there that would like to take the place of Nunuvut as our biggest fan, feel free. It's looking like somewhere in Europe is well on their way. My eyes suck and I don't know Europe very well, so I can't tell what country specfically, but there bubble is big on the cluster map.
Good-Day.

PART 2 - The Man

2008-04-02T22:58:00.006-04:00

READ PART 1 FIRST

Answer :

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your look to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 3 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

(credit for the find : stef)

PART 1 - The Digger

2008-04-02T22:55:00.006-04:00

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST (a huge classified website)

Question :

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I'v seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

panda bears

2008-04-01T19:01:00.001-04:00

hardcore 3 year old kid

2008-04-01T18:59:00.001-04:00

check out the terrified kid beside him.

Marriage Proposal

2008-02-24T09:28:00.001-05:00

2008-02-20T20:51:00.004-05:00

The Fourteenth Of February

2008-02-14T13:58:00.002-05:00

The Fourteenth Of February

2008-02-14T13:42:00.001-05:00

The Fourteenth Of February

2008-02-14T13:38:00.002-05:00

The Fourteenth Of February

2008-02-14T13:35:00.001-05:00

The Fourteenth Of February

2008-02-14T12:47:00.001-05:00

The Fourteenth Of February

2008-02-14T12:33:00.007-05:00

for your viewing pleasure...

US politics, gotta love it

2008-02-11T15:59:00.000-05:00

I was checking my e-mail today, and on a sidebar of interesting photos this one jumped out at me.

It seems that this is the Republican perspective on Hillary Clinton's economic policies, but I'm not so sure that it's accurate. What do you think?

How Calgary plans to handle the tourists....(sorry about the lack of pic)

2008-02-11T13:25:00.000-05:00

As a past resident of Calgary, if I see a headline about the town on the internet, I generally click on it to see what's new in Cow-town. So imagine my suprise when I learned what Calgary - a town/city known more for its conservatism and cowboys than its new-wave technology - is planning to use to improve its image in the minds of tourists: an automatic toilet.

You read that right. Apparently, the lack of public toilets is a barrier to tourists and residents alike when it comes to enjoying 17th avenue. This is the same street that was re-named the 'Red Mile' during the Flames' run to the Stanley Cup Finals a couple years ago. This is also the former home to the infamous 'Cowboys Niteclub', where Prince Harry was introduced to the wonders of Canadian girls last summer.

You would expect to find these types of inventions in Japan, maybe, but certainly not in Calgary. But this is the new Calgary after all - a pretender city. I wonder when people - in general, not just in Calgary - will figure out that futuristic toilets are not a tourist attraction....

Hey You....

2008-02-07T20:36:00.001-05:00

Just Remember...

2008-01-30T01:29:00.000-05:00

This little rodent is called the Naked Mole-Rat and is from Africa.

So if you are having a bad day and feeling sorry for yourself,

Just Remember:
Going through life is hard enough,

but to go through life looking like an ugly dick with buck teeth must be horrible!

Another Reason Not To Do It In Italy

2008-01-18T12:19:00.000-05:00

Italy's Supreme Court ruled that it is NOT illegal to SECRETLY videotape you and your partner doing the dirty as long as it isn't distributed without permission. So, if your doing some guy (or girl) in Italy.....you better check for hidden cameras.

Beware of the following suspicious lines :

"I'm not actually recording hunny"
"That's not a videocamera, it's a telescope"
"I DONT CARE IF I CANT SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES, I WANT THE LIGHTS ON"
"The little light in my closet is my Glow-in-the-dark Rosary"

The article goes on to say that a 49-year old guy from Rome, whom I'm going to call Tony, videotaped himself and his girl multiple times (there was a box of videos). When they broke up he sent her the videos with a note saying "These are my last thoughts of you."

Okay, seriously, burn.

Read about it more here......if you really want.......

Crazy Football Fan or Crazy Mom?

2008-01-18T11:59:00.000-05:00

A father didn't like that his 7 year old kid refused to wear a Green Bay Packers jersey and cheer for his team. So he threw the jersey on the kid using tape and such and taped him to a chair. His wife took pictures with her cellphone and called the cops. The guy was arrested and the wife filed a restraining order. The father claims the son refused as a joke, that he taped him up as a joke, and it was all a misunderstanding. He could be telling the truth since the kid was laughing as the mother took pictures, but seemed to freak out once he couldn't get out. Still, it makes me wonder why the father didn't untie him once the freaking started.......

Whose crazy? The mom or dad? You Decide.

Read about it more here.

Mind of Mencia 7-11 Clerk

2008-01-18T01:40:00.001-05:00

watch the entire thing. sooo good.

Charlie bit me

2008-01-12T11:46:00.001-05:00

This Commercial Uses A Real Apartment And Real Paint

2008-01-05T15:12:00.001-05:00

...not fake

This Commercial Uses Real Balls

2008-01-05T15:11:00.001-05:00

Habib Dance And Sing

2007-12-30T22:50:00.001-05:00

this is my sisters best friend. She made a video. Don't Ask.

Just In Time For Christmas!!

2007-12-22T12:27:00.000-05:00

How to make bedroom slippers out of Maxi Pads:

Directions:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair. Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part. The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top. Tape or glue each side ofthe top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic

* Non-slip grip strips on the soles

* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh

* No more bending over to mop up spills

* Disposable and biodegradable

* Environmentally safe

* Three convenient sizes: Regular, Light and Get out the Sand Bags.

Crosby drops the gloves

2007-12-21T18:43:00.001-05:00

Best drum solo by a seven year old ever?

2007-12-10T13:47:00.001-05:00

Zombie Kid Likes Turtles

2007-12-10T13:37:00.001-05:00

Hiphopapottamus vs. Rhymenocerous

2007-12-06T15:56:00.001-05:00

werd werd werd

Emo Philips: One of the Best Comics Ever

2007-12-05T19:50:00.001-05:00

Sherri Shepherd: Stupid Christian Pt. 2

2007-12-05T18:29:00.001-05:00

This moron thinks that it's still possible to sail a boat off of the edge of the world. What the hell are people being taught on Sundays??

Sherri Shepherd: Idiot Christian Pt. 1

2007-12-05T18:26:00.001-05:00

Try not to laugh... she's not joking. Jesus' birth predates everything... including: the Earth, trees, Moses, Abraham, and even Noah!!

Trailer - For Your Height Only

2007-12-03T16:04:00.001-05:00

My Dad on the Daily Show

2007-11-28T18:58:00.000-05:00

For Santas Only.

2007-11-25T23:34:00.002-05:00

Some kid in Michigan was out late and tried to sneak back into his place of residence (it was a social services agency), so he decided to go down the chimney. He has no Santa skillz though, so naturally, he got stuck. Someone heard him moaning n groaning and the fire department got him out. He didn't die or anything so it's all good. Just a few scratches. Read about it more here if your interested, although i pretty much summed it up.

p.s. is it santa clause or santa claus cause like wikipedia says santa claus and a bunch of places say santa clause so im pretty santa confizzled.

Crazy Japanese Game Show

2007-11-21T20:41:00.001-05:00

Watch to the end... so great!

The Silent Game

2007-11-20T14:11:00.001-05:00

Human Tetris

2007-11-18T23:08:00.001-05:00

The Humans Are Dead

2007-11-18T00:36:00.001-05:00

ROBOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's "Business Time"!!

2007-11-17T10:13:00.001-05:00

Powerthirst!

2007-11-15T17:02:00.000-05:00

It's energy for men.......MENERGY!!!!

Everyone has had more sex than me

2007-11-15T14:14:00.001-05:00

For the record this issue doesn't bother me.

p.s. go increase your vocabulary and give some poor peeps some rice. visit www.freerice.com to do it or check out the blog post 3 posts down for more details then visit it.

Screenwriters Strike

2007-11-15T13:41:00.001-05:00

So this isn't really brand new news (DOUBLE NEWWWW), but I'm bored and haven't written anything in a while so i figured what the heck.

So the writers are all on strike which means once they run out of pre-written scripts tv as we know it will probably come to a halt for some period. More than likely a mass amount of crappy reality shows will pop up to replace it. Sounds exciting doesn't it? What am I supposed to do...watch reality tv? Ew (I'm not dissing all reality tv...just a lot of it). Of course, the strike also affects movie scripts and whatever else you need scripts for (mind went blank). Tv is definitely my main concern though, I figure I can survive for a while without Transformers 2 and the next Steve Carell movie.

Now, don't get me wrong, I totally support the strike and what the screenwriters are doing. The writers make the show more than the actors do. They deserve to get more money and a cut of the dvd sales. I'm just giving a selfish rant because I want to find out who House hires sometime over the next year. If the strike is anything like the last time than I won't (the last strike lasted 5 months and was in 1988). So in defense for the writers, I'm going to blame the assholes not paying them for the cause of the strike.

For more info check out this article in the NY Times. It might be a crappy article. I'm tired and just grabbed the first one i found, but I figured I had to post some sort of link. So here it is. ilovetelevision.

The David Blaine Sequel

2007-11-12T13:13:00.001-05:00

Free Rice [dot] Com

2007-11-12T10:25:00.000-05:00

FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site, Poverty.com.

FreeRice has two goals:

1. Provide English vocabulary to everyone for free.

2. Help end world hunger by providing rice to hungry people for free.

This is made possible by the sponsors who advertise on the site.

Whether you're the CEO of a large corporation or a self employed street bum, improving your vocabulary can improve your life. It is a great investment in yourself.

Perhaps even greater is the investment your donated rice makes in hungry human beings, enabling them to function and be productive. Somewhere in the world, a person is eating rice that you helped provide... for nothing.

Visit the site, and do something positive today other than achieving a new high score on Guitar Hero.

Funniest David Blaine Ever

2007-11-07T00:57:00.001-05:00

May Contain Course Language That May Not Be Suitable For All Ages....just most of them.

How To Escape A Fart

2007-11-06T13:18:00.001-05:00

Watch all the way to the end for the best part!!

Dice tricks

2007-10-31T12:34:00.001-04:00

pretend hes dressed up in a witch costume whiles hes tricking it out (its halloween)

Top TenHallow's Eve...

2007-10-31T09:42:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 1:

If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door...

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-30T09:31:00.001-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 2:

Less guilt the next morning.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-29T09:37:00.001-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 3:

It doesn’t matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-28T13:00:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 4:

If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-27T09:19:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 5:

If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-26T09:14:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex

Number 6:

The person you’re with doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-25T09:49:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Tick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 7:

You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-24T09:40:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 8:

The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-23T10:26:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 9:

If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.

Top Ten Hallow's Eve...

2007-10-22T12:58:00.000-04:00

Top Ten Reasons Trick-or-treating is better than sex.

Number 10:

Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

COMING SOON...

2007-10-18T16:05:00.000-04:00

Minutes for Memories Top Ten List...HALLOWS EVE EDITION

Punchzors.

2007-10-18T14:15:00.001-04:00

K Fed- Care Bear Theme

2007-10-17T13:16:00.001-04:00

Awesome.

Canadian Crisis

2007-10-15T16:01:00.000-04:00

Check out the Daily' Show's Dan Bakkedahl and his investigation into immigration in Canada.
Features Edmonton Oiler's Raffi Torres.

The Holiday is Soon

2007-10-15T15:13:00.000-04:00

beatbox whaaat

2007-10-06T17:08:00.001-04:00

The Mysterious Ticking Noise

2007-10-06T16:52:00.001-04:00

Mattresses Underwater

2007-09-09T15:11:00.000-04:00

Mattresses Underwater

There are places

Some of us can't face yet

And even though we see it

We just swear God's sleeping

So we say,

"Ash to ash, and dust to dust,

We're all gonna die so we have to trust in something"

Though it might be nothing

But it’s gotta be something.

Now we mean it in our homes where we're sleeping

We call it mattresses underwater but the gutters are seeping

So we say,

"Ask and ask and we'll return

The same old favors till it’s our own turn"

We got ash in our pockets and dust in the urn,

Another forty years for you

And yours to learn.

Love was made like some ship at bay, never to see waves

We'll probably all crash anyway.

When we see it we don't believe it

We've got our faces made for smiling, but we are weeping

We got ash in our pockets and dirt in the urn

Another forty years for you and yours to learn

You say, "all you ever talk about is dying and it's getting so old"

And we say, "love was made Like some book or a page just ripped out but never read anyway" And you say "love was made like a ship at bay never to see waves"

We should probably get used to it, but we don't!

Now I see it...Now I see it...Now I see it...Now I see so clear.

She's got her hands in her pockets and she's walking around

She's got a face made for smiling but she's making a frown

She says, "all you ever talk about is letting us down

If you ever see me dying, just put me in the ground."

i wonder why this is banned

2007-08-29T15:32:00.003-04:00

got milk?

2007-08-29T15:32:00.001-04:00

Amadeus Amadeus

2007-08-29T15:04:00.001-04:00

Miss Teen USA 2007

2007-08-29T11:20:00.001-04:00

I totally agreee with everything that she just said!

'nuff said

2007-08-22T06:40:00.001-04:00

Can you believe these guys?

2007-08-09T11:41:00.000-04:00

the ending of this video clip has got to be the funniest thing EVER!

Ronald Jenkees, Maestro

2007-08-03T15:51:00.000-04:00

I was reading a column on ESPN a couple of months ago, when the columnist, Bill Simmons, posted a link to a video of Ronald Jenkees remixing the Rocky theme song. Seeing as the Rocky movies are legendary, I had to take a look. And I found the sickest remix ever!!!!

Jenkees is a self-taught musician who does his own beats electronically and adds keyboard bits as well as his own voice (sometimes). The result is some pretty cool music. Don't believe me? Have a listen!

He's just a regular guy from Kentucky, one of the most modest people on Youtube. (And yes, somewhat awkward on camera as well.) You can check him out at ronaldjenkees.com

Enjoy!

Muse: Starlight , Live at Arrow Hall

2007-08-02T11:05:00.001-04:00

Best rock concert ever. Absolutely mind-bottling!

Remarkable :)

2007-07-29T20:33:00.000-04:00

Just watch and see my next goal I want to accomplish if I fracture my foot at work again!

Gay Fruit-booters

2007-07-29T20:27:00.001-04:00

This is worth the 50 something next seconds of your life!... Especially because we've taken a summer holiday I didn't think this could not wait until September!

THE GREATEST SONG OF ALL TIME!!

2007-07-06T17:45:00.001-04:00

If you disagree... post your alternative. I guarantee that there are fewer painted faces, body suits, and hairy chests!!

Movie Review: Transformers

2007-07-04T22:41:00.001-04:00

This movie is damn good... nuff said.

Charlie : Candy Mountain

2007-06-24T12:41:00.001-04:00

quite possibly one of the funniest things ever.

Jesus Knows All

2007-06-22T14:07:00.001-04:00

One of multiple videos created by a church called Vintage 21.
See them all here

Barbies and Bo Staffs

2007-06-20T01:07:00.001-04:00

Were you playing with Barbies too?

Jesus Christ Action Figure

2007-06-20T00:32:00.001-04:00

Haha. Peed my pants... again.

Transformers Theme

2007-06-15T12:32:00.000-04:00

Born in the 80's?
Grew up with The Transformers?
Going to see the movie?
Like MuteMath?
Click Here!

Brick Outtake

2007-06-14T12:27:00.001-04:00

Watch this and just try not to laugh.

"We Love You Ron"

2007-06-14T12:20:00.001-04:00

Never saw this until today...
Then I peed my pants.

Quite possibly the best part of the Stanley Cup Finals

2007-06-13T00:29:00.000-04:00

Sad, isn't it, that a celebrity is the best part of a sporting event? (Fault lies with the NHL for letting the finals go back to clutch-and-grab hockey!)

The Church and Banana-Coloured Unitards Pt. 2

2007-06-11T20:50:00.000-04:00

Just for fun.... this article will be published on www.theooze.com on June 22. Join the conversation there and mess with peoples heads. I'm expecting people to defend the church and suggest reasons why people should attend. In turn I hope to steer the conversation to Jesus... who instead of expecting people to come, expects US to GO!

In homage to our origins....

2007-05-23T21:55:00.000-04:00

Two years ago to the day, Oprah's couch was witness to one of the greatest displays of celebrity craziness of all time. From this moment, the posters here at M4M derived their title as couch-jumping losers. In honour of such a momentous anniversary, I've posted the original clip of Tom Cruise professing his love for Katie Holmes. Enjoy!

Brand New - Welcome to Bangkok @ koolhaus, toronto

2007-05-22T18:43:00.001-04:00

Ummm.....

So about 19 people got on stage (all members of Colour Revolt,Anathallo, and Brand New) to perform a 10 minute version of Welcome to Bangkok. Highlights included:
1. a guy on stage playing a piece of watermelon with drum sticks.
2. Jesse from Brand New getting hit in the head with a foreign object and being carried off stage.

3. A guy running around with no shirt and a raccoon hat with ears on.

4. A guy playing drums with his head inside the drum.

5. A bunch of stacked cabinents falling on top on a guy from Colour Revolt.

6. About $15,000 worth of musical instruments needlessly destroyed in a period of time which is shorter than it takes for some people to take a dump.

CRAZY! We missed you Adam.

Best Mini-Putt Game on the Net

2007-05-22T16:56:00.000-04:00

try and beat my score of -11... it's pretty simple, just watch out for hole #8. it's a doozer.

Sky Golf

Play this futuristic golf game on floating holes in the sky!

Play this free game now!!

The Church and Banana-Coloured Uni-tards

2007-05-17T22:27:00.000-04:00

A year and a half ago I made a decision to take a hiatus from the local church for several reasons. One of these reasons was to better understand the 80% of Canadian society that doesn’t attend church regularly. The results of my time formed conclusions that were obvious to me before my temporary “exodus”, but still pose interesting questions.

After 18 months I didn’t miss: corporate worship, lengthy sermons, many irritating people, early Sunday mornings, wearing my “Sunday best”, Christian sub-culture, and crap theology just to name a few. “Church” irritates me. It’s as uncomfortable as ants crawling under your skin while you’re wearing a banana-coloured uni-tard (Definition of uni-tard: a seamless spandex garment [often referred to as a body suit] usually worn by Cirque Du Soleil types which constricts epidermal breathing and typically displays male genitalia like a sculpture in an art gallery à la Michelangelo’s David) Arggghh…..

I know that I can be negative and I am aware that deep down inside my subconscious there are things that I really did enjoy. Daydreaming was one of these joys. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, people rarely take time to daydream because the meaningless hours to waste away the day simply don’t exist. Even if someone could find the time to daydream the likely outcome would be actual dreaming as sleep would soon ensue as the individual would succumb to the sexy temptation of a “cat nap”. When considered, Church affords the perfect opportunity for daydreaming. It’s a place where it’s considered “socially unacceptable” to fall asleep (though it’s often a common practice) which deters somewhat from the enticement of the cat nap, therefore providing the perfect opportunity to daydream about more attractive realities. Also, the fact that there is very little entertainment options at the immediate disposal of the congregant also adds to the ideality of the environment (There are always tithing envelopes or bulletins to doodle on, but this becomes old very quickly). The perfect opportunity to let your mind go comes precisely after corporate worship when the talking head opens and closes its cavernous orphus continually sucking back oxygen as ammunition for the weekly verbal marathon. It is precisely in these forty-five minutes each week that the ideal opportunity to reflect upon alternative realities takes place. For fun I used to dream about an impromptu game of football where I tackle the minister in the middle of the sermon just to see what the reaction would be. I could play out the whole scenario in my mind. In my thoughts I had brought a Nerf ball to Church that morning and yelled out the play; “Blue forty-two, Blue forty-two” before snapping the ball to myself. I’d then throw the ball to the talking head, who I assumed could catch the ball in its mouth with ease, before I would switch teams to play defense and tackle the suit and tie.

Something else that was fun was to sit on the balcony admiring the various types of male pattern baldness of the congregants below and dream about each of those hairstyles being on my head. The comb-overs were always fun to imagine. I could picture myself holding up my arm in a ninety-degree-angle, with my hand formed into something looking like a chicken head, and saying in a thick New York accent, “You’re fired.” See, Church isn’t all bad. These were things that I really did enjoy about my Sabbath. If I could daydream forty-five minutes per week, that would equal a total of thirty-nine hours per year spent in that part of your brain which was largely left behind when you became too old to believe that that there was such a thing as Bigfoot or aliens (If you just said, “aliens don’t exist” in your head right now, your imagination is about as real as the objectivity of “independent journalism”).

And here within this reality lies the futility of living out a “call” to ministry. Because the local Church is an organism composed of human beings infected with human nature, it will never be something that is seamlessly enjoyable. There will always be experiences or people which make atheism appear to be a healthy alternative to the Church, no matter how much fun Sunday afternoon daydreaming or tithing envelope doodling can be. Yet the reality exists that the undesirable alternative to organized religion is disorganized irreligion, which really isn’t an alternative at all.

Herein lays the balance for me. I am unwaveringly committed to Jesus. And as such, I am hopelessly committed to the local church with all my life because Jesus is its’ “head”, and it’s his “bride”.

This temporary exodus still begs the million dollar question (or “the twenty-four million Canadians question”): "If someone who is entirely devoted to Christ and “called” to ministry within a local church setting has trouble finding significant value (pro’s outweighing con’s) in the local church, why then should the 80 percent of Canadian society outside the local Church consider attending?"

Take the Vision Test

2007-05-17T18:32:00.001-04:00

I got to level 50. It also has cool music. Try it out here!

Anchorman 300 Recut

2007-05-14T23:11:00.001-04:00

Words cannot describe...

Charlton Heston Ain't Got Nothin on Lego Moses

2007-05-10T12:22:00.000-04:00

If you enjoy reading your bible or like stories from the bible in general and wish they had pictures, this is for you.

If you watched "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" and thought the Lego reenactment of the Knights of the Round Table song was pretty funny, you may find this amusing.

If you own at least one of the Star Wars Lego video games, you'll more than likely enjoy a chuckle at this.

It's an entire site dedicated to the creation of "The Brick Bible". Essentially the bible with Lego people pictures and some amusing speech bubbles.

Move over Comic Bible.

Visit here: www.thebricktestament.com (caution may contain pictures of extreme lego violence)

Added Bonus: The Camelot song from Monty Python

I apologize if any of this has been previously posted. Enjoy.

Robots.

2007-05-10T03:24:00.001-04:00

Everyone take note of the name: Yoshiyuki Sankai. He has created a technology that if used for evil could lead to some very anime-esque apocalypse scenarios. The Hybrid Assistive Limb (Hal) created at Tokyo university adds strength and power to the person using it. Also, (and more importantly) it allows the user to look like a total badass and destroy inferior humanoids with the merciless efficiency of a godless killer robot. Let's hope this Dr. Sankai is a nice guy. He wields the power to kill us all.

Spiderman 3

2007-05-09T23:38:00.000-04:00

Do NOT go and see this movie. I repeat do not actually pay money for this film. I actually did and wish I could have 2 hours and 2o minutes of my life back.

Canadian spy games?!

2007-05-08T23:13:00.000-04:00

Canadian coin collectors beware! If you or anyone you know have a commemorative Canadian 25 cent coin with a red poppy on it, you may be under surveilance of the Canadian Government...or at least the U.S. intelligence thought. Don't believe the crazy accusations? Read the full article off the Globe And Mail.

The Last Stand

2007-05-08T14:00:00.000-04:00

Manage your time during the daylight hours to search for weapons, survivors and to repair. Move with the WASD keys and aim/shoot with your mouse. Reload with the R key. Press space bar to switch weapons. Can you survive all 20 nights? I did.

Play Here.